I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
