I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
