The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
