The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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