You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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