My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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