Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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