question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
