In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
