come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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