where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
