hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can I color on your dick again?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
