thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
