Can i not drive my cunt home
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
