u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
