i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
