Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
