Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
