So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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