I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When did angry sex become our thing?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Randomize
