and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you win again, gameday.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
