Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
