WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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