real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
