"it" just moved
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
