i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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