I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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