just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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