It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
