We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
