margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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