is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
