Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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