at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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