I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
