So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
