Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
