that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
