Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
