I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
