It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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