yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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