I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
