Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
