God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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