she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
