im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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