I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
