dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You are a genius and a whore.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
