I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
