There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
