I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
