How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
