my soul wont recognize me after tonight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
NoShamevember. You game?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
