insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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