people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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