the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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